Thursday, February 19, 2004

So Dean dropped out.

How come the common denominator is always the lowest of all the denominators? Not that I was very keen on Dean. He just seemed to be the only one speaking his mind. Which was refreshing. He kind of catered to my sort: Those who are always trying to change the world, but are completely disillusioned by The Process.

Actually, I've stopped trying to change the world. Not that I think it's beyond saving. I just feel powerless. I mean, I look at the potential. Of people, that is. And it is overwhelming. No wonder people dominate this earth. But then they go and do stupid things. Like killing each other. Or show utter indifference to the suffering of other people. It is depressing. And you ask yourself: "Why?"

The obvious answer is probably that despite the potential, we can't seem to be able to wield it. We are somehow unable to look these things in the eye and say "No!" Even if we do, it sounds so hollow. So pointless. Even walking among hundreds of thousands of people, trying to stop a war from happening, still felt somehow futile. At least in part. I mean, you could feel proud and your inner self was pleased. "I did my part." But that is not enough. Not nearly.

Maybe being stoic about the whole thing is the only way to go. I mean, trying to change the whole world involves some pretty totalitarianistic maneuvers. Which goes against my core, libertarian beliefs. So perhaps one should not attempt to change the whole world.

But there is something one can do: Change a little bit of the world. Not the whole thing. Just you. And your surroundings. And those you know. And those you meet. This is something one does anyway. We are all mainly affected by our interactions with other people. It's the interactions that make up most of our lives.

I know that "begin at home" is a cliché. And maybe it is escapism. Making yourself believe that abandoning The Great Change for your own backyard is not giving up. But then again, maybe it's true. Maybe that really is the extent of what you can do, anyway. Either way, great things can happen in small amounts.

Take me for example. One day last summer, my daughter was born. I made her. Me.

I saved the world that day.

All of it.