Thursday, May 1, 2003

Debout les damnés de la Terre!
Debout les forçats de la faim!
La raison tonne en son cratère,
C'est l'éruption de la fin.

I was working today. With another guy. We were sitting inside. Working. On May 1st.

May 1st is totally lost on Americans. Not on Europeans. They celebrate the eternal struggle of the working class against the viscious oppression of the capitalists. Or something.

It's a holiday here, anyway, and working on this day is a bona fide sin. We would probably have been shot if they had caught us today. Me, at least. I was the one who demanded that we work. Today. I felt kind of bad making him stay there when the marching band passed our window on their way to the parade. Especially since the weather was really nice.

The poor guy didn't complain. But I know he was dying inside. His internal working class self was suffering from marching deprivation. And I was playing the part of the merciless despot.

I'm a bastard. No. Worse. I'm a capitalist.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

It is so relaxing to be able to see for dozens of miles in all directions. Trees are nice. But when nothing else can be seen because of them, no matter where, all day long, I sometimes feel like I'm suffocating.

I've been gasping for a view.
I may be getting old. Maybe not old old. Question: Can you really get 'old', anyway, when you still have people like older siblings and parents? They will always treat you like you're young. Or at least younger.

No, I feel like I'm getting older because I don't like all the things I used to like. Like being always on the move. Working like crazy. Drinking Coke.

I'm also starting to like things that I remember that my parents liked when I was a kid. Like soft music. And waking up early. And just talking.

Maybe it's just an early onset of a mid-life crisis. But if that's what it is, I should be chasing girls half my age. Right? Granted, I do love women. Well, people I guess, but mainly women. They are simply more interesting then men. There's just more there. Somehow. Anyways. I've always been bewitched by women. So that's nothing new. Besides, I feel closer to my wife now then I've ever felt with another woman. So that's not it.

It's probably simply that I haven't noticed these changes happening slowly over the last years because I buried myself in work. Now that I have started paying a little bit more attention to myself, I am discovering this 'older' guy. And I kinda like him. But then again, I've never really not liked me. I hope.