Wednesday, February 5, 2003

This last week has been the best in a long time. Kind of a culmination of the good times I have had for the last few months. It's like when you have the perfect meal, leading up to this fabulous dessert that is so good that you want to savor the taste. Forever.

The dessert for me has been to meet so many of my oldest and dearest friends again. Man is really a social creature. I am at least. Maybe it means that I care too much about what other people think about me, which I gather is a definite no-no nowadays. Well, then so be it. I have just been blessed with such a stellar group of people to spend time with on this journey that I'm proud of them having a hold on me. Having opinions that I value. Giving me advice that I treasure.

When a dessert is made correctly, it becomes this small, distilled, disarmingly delicious treat, which you simply can not resist. These days have been just that. I was in no way prepared for that it would be so rewarding, meeting all those people and spending time with them, one after the other. It's humbling.

But, at the same time, it has also been this tremendous ego-boost. Approaching work again with confidence and generally feeling good about myself, after having my batteries recharged for the last months, appears to have a surprisingly big impact on how people react to me. People look me in the eyes, laugh and give me their large smiles. A colleague, with whom I have never had but the driest conversations, told me a joke. A beautiful girl, who I had a crush on for years, kissed me. I know it sounds pathetic, but I guess I never thought about how much my mood could affect those who I meet. Someone told me that I beamed like a pregnant woman! Go figure.

Then my wife said that she had missed me so much, and I simply melted. I am so hooked on this woman. Eighteen years haven't made a dent. It's still whole, pure, bright, warm. It is because of her that I enjoy life and am able to love my friends. She is the reason and the reward.

I should stop. This language does not do these feelings justice.