Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Fight Club

You should never see a movie unless your expectations are low. Preferably really low. And you should wait until all the buzz has passed. Wait a few years. Then see the flick for what it really is. Sure, this one is a decent excercise in that whole dual personality shit. But actually, it is more than that. Granted, Brad Pitt couldn't act to save his pretty face, but then, he isn't in this one to act. No, he is portraying that exact two-dimensional cool alter-ego we all wish we have. Sometimes. That carefree handsome son-of-a-bitch, who doesn't need to be too bright, doesn't need to be responsible, isn't going to catch things that are falling. All of that. We need that alter-ego, even if it never emerges from within ourselves. We need it, because day-in, day-out, year-round, life demands that we conform. And behave. Set good examples. Play by the rules. Be content. Smile. Wake up when the clock rings. Go to sleep when appropriate. Say nice things. Be considerate. Only challenge perceptions in controlled dosages, and only live at a certain volume. Because if you inhale too deeply, if you stray outside the parameters, people will not understand you. They will be frightened. So you grasp control of your urges. And you rein them in. Keep them under control. Be comforting. And responsible. And safe. And smile. While you allow yourself only to rage within. That's what this movie is about. Maybe it is a male thing, like this movie maintains. Testosterone, and all that. Maybe. I have done my share of tasting my own blood. And it does make you feel alive, strange as that may sound. But I have never just let go. I do not have periods of recklessness in my past. Times when impulse just took over. Not long ones, anyway. There has always been an element of control. Somewhere. Maybe that has saved me from graver mistakes than I have made. From having regrets. Somebody once called me cold-hearted. I think she was referring to the image I was portraying. The thing is, if I had to choose, I would still choose being the responsible bonus pater with the steady job and the mortgage, over being the reckless, cool, and 'free' guy, who may woo and charm, but will never stick around. Preferably, I would want both. And I have tried. Both. Often. But they do not mix. So I choose to be who I am. And quietly let myself enjoy flicks like Fight Club.