Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The last drop

I've spent the last month deleting stuff that I was about to post.

It just all seemed so insignificant, somehow.

Not that what I usually write here is anything more. In fact, at some point I actually promised I wouldn't post anything profound here, in the odd case that I would stumble upon it.

So I deleted the post about saying good-bye to friends and family. About flying home with my little girl. About how flying back east less frequently as the years go by is probably adding to my melancholy. I also deleted the posts about moving to this city, and into this old mansion, where people live in the past, figuratively and almost literally. I even erased the one about those beautiful letters some of you people, basically you poor souls that check this miserable blog every single day, keep sending me. That's the one post I regret throwing away, actually.

But you know how a dam can only hold so much water, and that there has to be this particular drop of water that finally breaks it. There is nothing special about it. It is just as dull as dishwater. It just happens to come along at the right time.

So is it with this silence of mine. Meet our little splash of water:

I was talking to a dear friend of mine online today. As we were saying our goodbyes, she told me that she had a new favorite song: Jamie O'Neal's All by myself. Immediately, I could hear Celine Dion's high-pitched voice in my head, incessantly wailing "Aaaaaall byyyyyy myyyyyyyself...". Yes, you're right. I am not a fan. I desperately wanted to get another version of the song into my head. So I googled it, and blindly clicked on a few links that came up. As I was waiting for them to load, I remembered where I knew the O'Neal version from. It is in Bridget Jones' Diary, the movie. As quickly as Dion's screeching had begun, it made way for the smoother voice of O'Neal. I was about to close the links I had just opened, when this really high-pitched voice started to sing. And I just couldn't stop listening to it. I must have reloaded it a dozen times. Funny how it is the tacky, off-key, banal music that will get into your head.

Anyway, thanks to this droplet, I might be back. Check back here tomorrow, and we shall see.